


Guilty of You

by someoneplsloverobbierotten



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Song: Guilty of You (Naomi King), Songfic, Tony only comes to see Loki when he's drunk, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, if you can call it a relationship, that's the mild dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 09:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20043778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someoneplsloverobbierotten/pseuds/someoneplsloverobbierotten
Summary: it's only when you're drunk i get a taste of youbecause you love herand i know i shouldpush your hand away but i am guilty of youyou know i'm guilty of you-Loki isn't stupid. He knows that Stark only ever visits him when everybody else is long asleep, and only ever when he’s drunk. He also knows that Stark only ever comes to him after Miss Potts visits the mansion. Notices the way he's just a little bit rougher when she leaves a communal message instead of coming to visit personally. How when asked about the hickeys and marks that Stark is more than happy to let Loki leave, he just gives a wink and lets everybody draw their own conclusions - conclusions that no doubt make it back to her, fabricating tales of how well he's doing without her, how clearly he's moved on.But he can't push him away.





	Guilty of You

**Author's Note:**

> ok so usually this dynamic really isn't my thing, but naomi king released the song guilty of you and i was absolutely powerless to resist writing this. quickest i've ever written something in one sitting i swear to god.
> 
> Disclaimer: The lyrics/song used in this fic are not, and have never been, mine. they were created and used by Naomi King.  
(srs tho check out her music she is my favourite artist ever)

_ cause you probably think i'm her _

_i know that you think i'm her _

_ and it hurts _

_ this burns _

_ i know i should end this curse _

_ but I'm sorry i _

_ let you touch me when you get drunk _

_ because it's all that i _

_ever will be i'll never have your love_

_ because you love her _

_ i know you do _

_ it's only when you're drunk i get a taste of you _

_ because you love her _

_ and i know i should _

_ push your hand away but i am guilty of you _

_ you know i'm guilty of you _

* * *

It's closing on three am when Tony Stark pushes his way into Loki’s bedroom, the god not able to get a single word of questioning out before Tony has his hands against his jaw and his lips against his own.

He tastes like alcohol; whiskey and rum and tequila - an entire coctail of stupid descisions all downed by one person, a person that so far hasn’t done anything other than break into Loki’s room and start kissing him, no warning, no asking.

He's drunk, he's desperate, and had he been sober Loki knows he wouldn't be interested. He knows he should push Stark away, stop him, slap him - anything, except keep on kissing him.

And yet.

And yet. It's _Stark._ He takes a second to get over his shock, to give his brain a moment to put up a fight that had already been lost before Stark even set foot in the room in order to pretend that he has a backbone - because he doesn't, not when it comes to Stark. He never has.

So instead of stopping him, or questioning him, Loki slides a hand up Stark’s chest and fists it in the man's oil-stained shirt and yanks him closer, sliding his other hand around the back of his shoulders and grasping the short, soft hairs at the nape of his neck. Stark moans in return, clambering further onto the bed and all but throwing himself at Loki, one arm around the god's waist while his hand scratches up his back. He curls the fingers of his other hand in Loki’s sleep-knotted waves, bunching it up so he can tug on it.

Loki hisses, but allows his head to be pulled back so that Stark can bite at his neck. As Stark digs his teeth him, Loki repays the favour with his nails.

The scent of alcohol reasserts itself and Loki has another thought that he should stop this before this goes any further, but then Stark is sucking on the marks his teeth made and suddenly Loki’s brain doesn't have room for rational thought - or any thought, really, beside _‘oh gods yes,’_ and _‘keep going Stark, please’._

So Loki tilts his head further back and lets stark do whatever he wants, letting all thoughts of bad decisions be drowned out by the feeling of the hand on his back sliding lower and lower.

* * *

In the morning Loki wakes to find the sheets pooled around him, and only him; the other side of the bed completely empty. The only sign that Stark was ever there is the already fading hickey on Loki’s jugular.

* * *

Stark comes to Loki again. Only ever when everybody else is long asleep, and only ever when he’s drunk.

Loki isn't stupid. In fact, he’s a genius - one of the only people able too keep up with Stark, and vice-versa. It's why he notices things, things he wishes he never noticed at all.

Like how Stark only ever comes to him after Miss Potts visits the mansion. The way he's just a little bit rougher when she leaves a communal message instead of coming to visit personally. How when asked about the hickeys and marks that Stark is more than happy to let Loki leave, he just gives a wink and lets everybody draw their own conclusions - conclusions that no doubt make it back to  her, fabricating tales of how well he's doing without her, how clearly he's moved on.

Loki knows different. Just like he knows that there's a reason Stark never acknowledges what they do, how he never says Loki’s name when they're together - or hers, to Stark’s credit, but never _ever_ his - or how he always keeps a hand tangled up in Loki’s hair no matter what they do.

It's long like hers.

Loki also knows that he’ll never, ever push Stark away. No matter how many times he talks himself out of it when he’s alone again, he knows that once Stark comes knocking Loki will break like a wet sheet of paper. Because it's Tony.

Loki has only every felt, _truly_ felt, for someone two times in his life before now. Once with an elven sorcerer in Vanaheim, who Loki would sneak away to see every night while he was being fostered by his uncle Frey. When he had had to return home, loki had wept every night for months at the emoty space beside him.

The other was for his wife, Sigyn.

And now, there is Tony. Tony, with the bright magic in his chest that he made himself with his even brighter mind. Tony, with hands even cleverer than his own, able to make anything he sets his incredible mind to. Tony, who is so effortlessly beautiful, so stunning that even beaten down and bleeding Loki can't look away. Tony who is so, so broken, but still standing, always scrabbling to pick up the pieces and build something new.

Loki’s relationships have always been secret, for one reason or another. No one even knew about Sigyn's existence - let alone Loki's marriage to her - until after their children had been born. He has always been particularly unlucky in that regard. But this one hurts the most, so much more than the others ever did, because this one isn't even _real._ There's no secret lover to hold him in the night, to talk to until the early hours and plan romantic getaways that would never happen, but would always bring such hope to talk about. It's just bruises and bitemarks, given by someone who isn't even thinking of him while he makes them.

Stark will always think of her, and Loki knows that. He will never be anything other than the dirty little secret, the person Stark comes to when drunk and lonely and jealous, to touch and fuck while he thinks of her, because he knows you’ll never push him away.

He's counting on it, to get him through the hurt she left behind.

Loki will never push him away, because he loves him. Even though he knows that it would be better for both if them if he did.

But he won't, he can't.

The door doesn't creek as Stark pushes it open, the inventor slipping quietly through the crack. Within moments his hands find Loki’s thighs beneath the sheets and Loki parts them automatically as tony pecks whisky-stinking kisses down his neck, a hand sliding into Loki's curls and staying there.

As he does every time, Loki allows himself a second to save face, a moment to pretend to think about pushing Stark away.

He doesn't though. He never has -

and he never will, and both of them know it.

He's a liar, a thief, a cheat, a murderer and countless other things, but as Stark twists his fingers in Loki’s hair, wishing it was straight and strawberry-blonde, and Loki lets him, he knows that this - that Stark, is his greatest crime of all.

Loki’s never been guiltier of anything in his life.


End file.
